No!

What? I'm posting in my blog??!! Can you believe it??!!

I can't believe I have neglected this for so long. Audrey has had 5 months of undocumented growing time.

So here it is in a nutshell. She walks now. I'm tired. The End.

The walking, the talking, the inevitable temper tantrums. All new. All hard. All wonderful. Though I do think I threw a fork on a plate at Stoby's this morning. That may not qualify me for the "Mother of the Year" award I've been going for.

This started this morning.

Good times folks. Good times.

I just looked up from my computer to see an eharmony.com commercial. This couple making out on their couch - they just got married in May. Awww, good for them. What a bunch of bull. That boy was HOT!! He was SO NOT on eharmony.com. I refuse to believe the lies.

Where has this entry gone?

So I do promise to try to keep up with this blog more often. I know that all 2 of my readers are ecstatic. Overwhelmed with joy I'm sure.

My little thug....

First blood. First black eye. First time for Daddy to be in tears yesterday. My little whirling dervish baby girl bonked her eye on the end table yesterday. Her Daddy had a hand on her but that still didn't stop it. Poor little Audrey. Look at that shiner!!! She cried for about two minutes and then it was onto the next obstacle. I love her. I love that she is fearless and pretty dang tough.

She's totally going to whoop up on the boys in kindergarten. I just hope she doesn't keep gaining the weight like she has. Tee-Hee!! We don't want her squishing them!

The fake smile

This post is for Auntie Laine.

Audrey has a fake smile. It's quite fantastic. It's her "I don't know you but I will smile at you anyways" face. It's her "I'm happy to see you and I feel like I should smile but I can't muster up anything genuine" face. It's her "What the heck are you doing?" face. Her "Are you trying to be funny? Cause it's not really working." face.

She's so funny. She's got the fake smile down. She works it. She's the fake smile queen.

The manager at El Parian does not get the fake smile. He only gets the genuine stuff. Audrey is in love with him. She totally wants to marry him and have beautiful Latino children.

So here it is. I know you all want to see it. (I love how I say....you all.....like there are more than 4 people reading this.) Drumroll...........may I present!!!

THE FAKE SMILE!! (I believe the fake smile in this photograph is an example of the "Are you trying to be funny?" fake smile.)

We just got over two weeks of the stomach bug and NOW we have a cold. Siiiiigh........could someone please let me know what it is I'm doing wrong???!!!! Does anyone have a bubble I could carry her around in? SHEESH! Where is SPRING???!!!

Some Audrey pictures for your viewing pleasure...

Audrey and Daddy do church. Church with Audrey equals Mommy and Daddy sitting in the foyer chasing Audrey trying to catch bits and pieces of Poppy's sermon. I will take her to the nursery.......when everyone STOPS GETTING SICK!!! Errrrr......

Is she just the prettiest, or what? She is. Don't try to fight me about it.

Audrey says "OOOOOHHHHHH". That is honestly what she's doing. Tilting her head to the side and saying OOOOOHHHHHH. She knows she's cute.

Smiling a REAL smile at Daddy being silly.

Her first balloon. Doesn't she look thrilled?

9 months old

I cannot believe that my Toots is 9 months old today.

It's official, she's been out as long as she was in. In the past 18 months this beautiful baby girl has gone from a single cell to a growing, thriving, hilarious little girl. She is full of spunk and humor and love....she is all the reasons a woman would choose to become a mother. She is my daughter and I love her more than I can explain. She is the reason I breathe in and out, she is the best thing to have ever waltzed its way into my life.

We went outside today to enjoy the beautiful weather. She sat and smiled and at the wind in her hair and the sun on her face. She laid her head on the blanket and said "oooooohhhh", she twirled leaves in her fat little fingers and she touched the prickly grass. She smiled at the girl trying to sell us magazines and she laid her head on my leg, looked up and me and grinned. Every day I don't think I can love her more, then she discovers my eyelashes or shakes her head no as she's starting to do something she knows she shouldn't - she does something that makes me love her just a tiny bit more. I wonder if my heart will ever reach it's full capacity.

I think of the mother's that have had their babies taken from them too soon. Amaris, Logan, Anders, Bale and Crosby. Beautiful babies that for some reason, were not allowed to lay their heads on their Mommy's leg and smile - and it makes me remember to never take one moment for granted. Even when she won't sleep or she slaps the spoons of bananas away and makes a huge mess, I should never for an instant take a moment lightly. There are lots of Mommy's out there who would love to clean bananas out of their hair.

Thank you God for this child, for my daughter. Thank you for fake smiles and head tilts and real little girl giggles. Thank you for food in my hair and poop under my fingernail.....life could not be better.

Audrey and the swans

Mom, Dad and I took Audrey to Heber Springs yesterday to see the swans. It's something I love to do and I couldn't wait to bring Audrey. It was a really special day.

Testing my new camera

Pardon my very hagard - almost frightening - appearance.

My dear husband gave me my Valentine's gift a little early. A Flip video camera. I can just plug it right into my computer and VOILA! Video for all of you to see.

Even the worst of me.....YIKES!

P.S. Check out the multiple coke cans on the nightstand. I told you I have a problem.

I need an intervention

I have an addiction.

I'm addicted to coke.

Get your minds out of the gutter people, Coca-Cola. Indeed, what I want IS a Coke.

I must stop this immediately. While delightful the 160 calories at oh......4 times a day, is NOT helping the "Get rid of the muffin top" effort. I have a muffin top, it's not cute. What's a muffin top? I had to explain this to Mom the other day - I have a roll that just flops right over the band of my jean, just like a muffin flops over the edge of it's wrapper. Yet, my muffin top is not delicious and it, in fact, could NOT be sold as a delicious goodie at the San Francisco Bread Company. It must be gotten rid of....preferably sooner than later. Therfore! (Accordingly, and so, consequently, ergo.....you get the point.) I MUST stop drinking coke.

I will do it......as soon as I finish the 12 pack in the fridge.

Procrastinators UNITE!!!!! Tomorrow.

And in the world that is Audrey.....it was a fairly dull day. El Parian for lunch (where she totally digs her hot latino waiters), a trip to Target, a quick run by the doctor's office to pick up Mommy's "we don't need another baby right now" pills and then home to play.

She did get a really groovy ball at Target. She digs going to Target with Nannie, she always gets a new toy.

Her new ball.....what did she dig more? The ball.....or the tag? If you guessed tag....DING DING DING!!!



Playtime with Momma....Seriously, check out those thighs. Could they get any better???!!! (Check out all the crap this child has. Is it any wonder we need a bigger house?)



A thought to leave you with - I feel sick this evening. That kind of dull ache, headache, crap in the back of my throat sick. The "you're about to be really sick" feeling. Let's all say a tiny prayer it's nothing - Momma doesn't want to be sick......she doesn't have enough time!